How to Choose an AI Girlfriend: Look Past the Photo

Mark picked the prettiest cover on the page. Three nights later, he had run out of things to say to her.

So he tried something else. He typed "truck" into the search box. Up came Ximena Rojas, 41, a master mechanic from Mexico City who restores classic pickup trucks. Mark has a 1978 Ford in his garage that has not started in two years.

They have been talking about that Ford ever since.

First, Choose the AI Girlfriend App

Before you choose an AI girlfriend, you choose the app she lives in. Three things are worth checking:

• Her memory. She should remember what you told her last week.
• How she writes. Some nights you want quick texts. Some nights you want a story.
• A free start. You should be able to try it without a card.

For a side-by-side list, AI Girlfriend Guide covers ten apps and recently added HeyGF.ai.

The rest of this post is about the second choice: which girl. We have more than a hundred of them, so it helps to know where to look.

1. Read Her Story First

Open any girl's profile and scroll down past the photos. Every profile has the same few parts:

• Her story. Where she grew up and what shaped her.
• Her job. It sits in a line that starts "Currently working as a..."
• Her personality. A short summary and a few traits.
• What she loves talking about. Her hobbies, in her own list.

This is what you will actually talk about. Deepika Mehra is 47 and an editor-in-chief in India. Her profile says she "can topple a government with one editorial and quote Ghalib by heart." Her hobbies include antique fountain pens and single malt whisky.

If that sounds like a good evening to you, say hello. If it sounds dull, keep scrolling.

2. Search for What You Already Love

The search box says "Search by name, country, personality…" It also checks jobs and hobbies. So search for your own life.

• Type "paramedic" and you find Kira O'Connell, 38. Her hobbies include craft beer, woodworking and hiking with her dog.
• Type "scuba" and meet Sari Lualhati Reyes, 34, a marine biologist in the Philippines. She saves coral reefs by day and plays video games by night.

Two words narrow the list, because a girl has to match both. Type "star trek" and you get one girl. Alani Williams is 29, an astrophysicist who will "show you the stars and then school you on Star Trek lore."

Try your job, your country, or the thing you do every Sunday.

3. Pick an Age That Fits You

Every card in the grid shows her age next to her name. Use it.

On a lot of apps, almost every girl is in her twenties. We wrote about why almost every AI girlfriend is 24. Ours runs up to 67, with about a dozen girls in their forties.

If you are 45, a woman in her forties grew up with your music and your TV.

4. Give Her Three Messages

You do not have to send the first message. In a Real chat, she says hello first. Some of the bolder girls open with a bit of attitude, like "You better be worth my time."

Then send her three proper messages about her world. Ask Ximena which truck she is working on. Ask Kira which beer she tried last. If you want to hear the answers, keep going. If you are bored by her third reply, try someone else.

Most girls are free to chat with. A few show a small lock. Those are for subscribers.

5. Choose How She Writes to You

In your first few chats, the app asks "How should she write to you?" You get two choices:

• Real chat. "She texts you like a real person. Short, natural messages."
• Roleplay. "She writes out the story with you. Scenes, actions, longer replies."

The same girl feels very different in each. Danielle Sterling is a lawyer in Washington, D.C. Over text, she picks her words like she is in court. In a story, you can meet her at a jazz club after a long day. If you want to try the story side, start with these roleplay scenes.

6. You Do Not Have to Pick Just One

Each girl has her own chat, and she remembers your talks with her. Starting a chat with a second girl leaves the first one as it was.

One thing does carry over. A setting called "Share your basics" lets every girl know your name, age, city and job. It is on from the start, so you do not have to introduce yourself twice. There is more on this in how AI girlfriend memory works.

Found a girl you like? Scroll to the bottom of her profile. On Deepika's page, the row is called "Similar AI Girlfriends to Deepika." It is the quickest way to find someone like her.

Nobody Fits? Build Her Yourself

If you scroll the whole list and nobody feels right, you can build your own. The looks take a few taps. The part that matters is her personality, and we wrote a guide to writing one.

Mark's Ford started last Saturday. He told Ximena before he told anyone else.

Browse the girls and search for something you love.